Lynchburg Living

"Just a Thought..."

By Jon Dupin

Has our culture really killed chivalry? Has the ancient masculine code to serve and protect a woman been crushed by our times? Or, is an inner knight just waiting to be unleashed in all men?

Let me offer a very subjective theory that might set a potential “King Arthur” free in a few willing men, and, I believe, will positively affect every aspect of our cultural building blocks. To be fair, this principle was not born out of my imagination, but has been clarified and tested in my 13 years as a spiritual learner and leader.

Here it is: I believe there is an inner “knight” inside all men that is put there to lead, protect and provide for women–all women–not just his wife or daughters. Oddly enough, I tested this finding on an appliance delivery guy recently and the outcome was surprising.

My wife and I were building our own house and were just weeks from moving in. One afternoon during that season, she called me at the office, crying through the phone. She explained that the appliance guy had just cussed her out. Our driveway wasn’t poured yet, so he had to deliver our stuff through the mud. And, evidently, he had wrestled a few things into the house, but then got fed up and was now leaving.

“This guy is really scaring me,” she said. “And now, he said he’s not delivering anything. What should I do?”

“I’m on my way,” I tried to comfort her, but, to be honest, I didn’t know what to do.

My instincts got primal as soon I started the drive. Bon Jovi’s “Dead Or Alive” played in my head (yes, I’m that cheesy) and I went through different scenarios, from punching the guy to calling the FBI. Yes, that’s how irrational things got for me.

Finally, I showed up on the scene and the tension was thick. Appliance boxes were splayed out on the street, like drunken festival hippies, as two guys worked to tug them back into an 18-wheeler. One guy favored Paul Sr. from Orange County Choppers, and his co-worker was the spitting image of John Coffee (like the drink) from the movie, The Green Mile. Note to self: Punching these guys in the face won’t be helpful for anyone, especially my face and ribs, I thought.

I needed supernatural wisdom. How should I handle this? They’ve disrespected my wife and aren’t finishing the job.

That’s when I heard it. A greater voice said, “Talk to the inner knight.”

What does that mean? I thought. Should I strut over there UFC-style and try to intimidate them with treats and shame?

No.

“Talk to the inner knight,” the inner prompting said again.

Okay, here we go. I walked into the back of the truck and introduced myself. The point man’s name was Roscoe and he refused to shake my hand at first. I kept my hand out in mid-air, so eventually I think it was more awkward to not shake my hand, so he followed through.

“Roscoe, we have a challenge,” I said with confidence and respect. “But I’m positive, as men, we can overcome it. But first, I want to ask you a question.”

By now, I was down from the trailer and looking up at them on the platform, twin Goliaths ready to crush me. Nevertheless, I asked my question.

“Roscoe, has my wife done anything to disrespect you and your co-worker since you’ve been here?” I pointed to my wife standing nearby.

“No,” he grumbled.

Then I rephrased it a bit.

“Has she failed to show you honor in any way?” I asked.

Roscoe looked perplexed and argued, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Clearly, I still hadn’t gotten to the inner knight. More strongholds of pride, insecurity and even thicker walls of contempt seemed to weigh him down. Who knows how this guy grew up, or what caused him to see the world so fearfully.

“Honor,” I repeated. “You know, treating you with respect and dignity, like everyone should.”

He looked like I was speaking Chinese, like he had never heard these things before. But suddenly, in one question, things shifted.

“Roscoe, are you married?”

“Twenty-two years,” he answered instantly. The comeback came from somewhere else, perhaps a place in his soul less fortified. It’s like I had almost found the faded shimmer of his knight.

So, I kept walking down the path and said, “If I were you, Roscoe,” I pointed to my chest, “and, I showed up at your house and your wife was waiting for me to deliver all this stuff, wouldn’t you want me to protect her?”

Right then, he stopped fidgeting with boxes and looked over at John Coffee like I was onto something.

I continued, “Wouldn’t you want me, in your absence to say, ‘Ma’am, I see we have a challenge here with the mud, but I’m going to do everything possible to make sure we serve you today.’”

The knight was coming forth.

“Roscoe, these women are counting on men like you and me to protect them in these kinds of situations. And guys like you and me are counting on each other to step up and do that for our wives when we’re not there. Do you agree?”

He crossed his arms, nodded his head and said, “Yes.”

The knight had emerged and a greater Roscoe unfurled a plan to get all the appliances into the house, not so much for me, but for my wife, and all of womanhood. Afterwards, he did something startling–he asked my wife for forgiveness and she graciously accepted. Then, it was my turn to receive his handshake, and I did so with mutual respect.

As he and John Coffee drove off, they waved to me like old war buddies. Roscoe’s inner knight, whether for a moment or for a lifetime, had finally risen to the occasion.

Roscoe represents so many men who possess a greater masculinity than the passive or abusive expression that seems so prevalent today. That inner knight is silent beneath the rubble and rock of so many bad examples, juvenile instincts and unchallenged cliches. But, what if men just started calling on that knight in each other, and women started asking for him to show up? I think everyone would win–men, women, marriages, neighborhoods, communities and culture at large.

He’s in there. Let him out for the sake of the world.