Lynchburg Living

2011 Hitched

By Donna Dunn

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” — A.A. Milne

As lovely as a wedding can be, there’s something truly beautiful about a man and a woman, married for years, who still like to hold hands. Who smile when the other enters the room. Who make love last.

Three local couples share their journeys to Happily Ever After…

The Claybrooks–28 years

When Wayne and Donna Claybrook’s twins got married, Wayne gave them each a little book he wrote. A collection of thoughts on making marriage work, Wayne told his sons to:

• Always put your wife first.
• Find ways to surprise her.
• Think of ways to make her day.

These are truisms he’s lived by in his 28 years of marriage. And they’ve obviously worked.

“He always says, ‘Do you know who was the most beautiful woman there tonight?’” Donna recalled and then blushed, as she described how she and Wayne have kept their love strong.

Likewise, Wayne said he couldn’t have found anyone more perfect for him than Donna.

“Donna doesn’t drink coffee, but every morning she grinds coffee for me,” Wayne said.

“It’s a little something,” Donna explained. “But it doesn’t take much time and it starts his day off right.”

High school sweethearts from Brookneal, Wayne and Donna only broke up once in their 7-year courtship.

“It was the most miserable time in my life,” Wayne remembered. “We’ve never been separated since.”

During those seven years, the pair went to college. But when they finished, Donna decided they’d waited long enough.

“She basically told me, ‘Are we going to get engaged or what?’” Wayne said with a smile.

After marrying in 1983, the couple had twin boys in August 1984. Donna, who is a twin, and Wayne, whose mother was a twin, were not surprised. Yet, getting married, having twins–who were born two months early–and trying to set up house in just 18 months, was a whirlwind. Wayne even had to trade in his two-seater car for a station wagon.

“You can work through anything as long as you work together,” Donna said. “Even though it was very stressful … it made us stronger.”

Wayne agreed, “What a blessing she was to me. I could have looked long and hard and never found anyone as wonderful as she was.”

Along with love, the couple credits their respect for one another in keeping their marriage strong.

“I think arguing is a waste of time. Anyone can communicate, there’s no need to argue. … We’ve probably had a handful of disagreements, but we never yell,” Donna said.

“I love and respect her too much to yell at her,” Wayne said.

Today, the Claybrooks continue to enjoy their time together, going on trips, cooking out with their sons and daughters-in-law and looking forward to the years to come.

“God meant for us to be together and stay together,” Wayne said.

The Hinsons–37 years

To look at Dr. Victor and Peggy Hinson today, you might never guess Peggy’s one condition for getting married 37 years ago.

When they first met, Peggy was a high school student working at a Krispy Kreme in Wilmington, North Carolina, Victor made deliveries to the store–one of three jobs the 17-year-old held in order to make ends meet after leaving a difficult home life at age 16.

“I told him I would not marry him if he didn’t finish high school,” Peggy recalled.

Despite the fact that Victor had dropped out of high school, Peggy said, “I could see something in him that I didn’t see in other guys his age.”

Victor not only worked out a way to finish high school, he went on to earn his bachelor’s, master’s and doctoral degrees–all while married to Peggy, who he wed two days after graduating from high school.

Today, he and Peggy share their marriage experience and wisdom with other couples in pre-marital counseling. Some of their advice includes:

• “Take care of issues before getting into marriage. You need to enter marriage as a whole person, not expecting someone to make you feel OK with yourself,” Peggy said.
• “Become students of each other in the first years. Learn everything you can about each other,” Victor advised.

Victor and Peggy became passionate about strengthening marriages when Victor became a pastor and parishioners began coming to him and Peggy for counseling. That’s what also led the family to leave North Carolina to come to Lynchburg, where Victor earned his master’s in counseling at Liberty University. That move, which required them to leave everything they had built in their church and begin again, was a leap of faith.

“That’s at the core [of our marriage]. We’ve had so many situations where we truly had to trust in God,” Peggy said.

Victor now serves as the Chair for Liberty University’s Center for Counseling and Family Studies. Peggy also attended Liberty and received her degree in Education. At one point, Peggy and their two sons were all LU students.

The Hinsons agree it was an unlikely journey.

“We are living so far beyond what we ever dreamed,” Peggy said.

When Victor received his doctorate in 2005, they realized he had been in school all but five of their youngest son’s 20 years of life.

“There’s been a lot of hard times in terms of life, but not between us. My goal has always been to provide a safe place for him to come home to,” Peggy said.

Family has always come first for the Hinsons.

“People sometimes put vocation and material things first, but that can be lost. Family is what stays constant,” Victor said.

The Racers–50 years

Returning home on leave from Germany, John Racer had just a few weeks to decide his next move with the Army. At the same time, John’s high school friend, Roger, called and asked him if he’d be willing to go on a double date with a girl he’d never met. Roger explained that he really liked a young nurse, but she’d only go out if her friend, Marilou, also had a date.

John agreed to the blind date. Less than a year later, in June 1960, he married Marilou.

The other nurse also got married that year–but not to Roger. It seems that the best thing to come from their blind date was the marriage of John and Marilou Racer, who celebrated their 50^th anniversary in June 2010, along with their four children and 15 grandchildren.

John laughs as he remembers that first date.

“We went bowling and [Marilou] beat me. I’ve never bowled since,” he said.

Their second date nearly didn’t happen.

“In my romantic presentation, I said, ‘Do you want to go out or what?’ That was almost the end of it,” John remembered.

John and Marilou didn’t see each other face-to-face much during their courtship; he moved to his next assignment with the Army shortly after their meeting. Despite the distance, they made it work–a skill that would serve them well in married life as John took on new assignments in the Army.

Marilou had the advantage of being a nurse in John’s hometown. As she got to know people in the area, “they talked about [John] being such a good boy,” she said.

While on their honeymoon, John got the order that he was being transferred to Fort Meade outside of Baltimore. They would remain in the Baltimore area until 1999, long after John’s retirement from the Army. While at Fort Meade, John tried out for and became a part of the U.S. Army Field Band, which tours the country playing for civilians. He played tuba and string bass, along with serving as drum major during parades.

Though the band offered an elite position, it required many travel days. Every trip home was a “honeymoon,” Marilou said. In five years, the Racers had four children. Later, three of the four would get married the same year, in 1986.

After the Army, John worked for the Baltimore Sun and Marilou went back to work part-time as a nurse.

“We were like ships passing in the night,” Marilou recalled.

Yet, they made it through.

“I give all the credit to the Lord,” Marilou said.

The Racers moved to Lynchburg in 2000. Three of their children and two of their grandchildren have graduated from Liberty University, while two more are currently attending. This summer, the Racers are expecting their first great-grandchild.

The Racer family has maintained close ties, as they all travel to the beach for a week each year. This year will be the 25^th anniversary of such trips.

“They sleep every place from the floor to the ceiling almost,” Marilou said with a laugh.

Given their time apart and family obligations, there were challenges. Still, John and Marilou agree on how they made it through those times.

“The number one thing from the very beginning is that when you stand before God, your friends and family, when you take your vows, you have to stay committed. Every day’s not lovey-dovey, but be true to your vows, forgive and remain true,” John said.