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By Donna Dunn

From Northern China, comes the tradition of the Bai Jia Bei, the 100 Good Wishes Quilt. Through this small quilt, friends and family stitch together their wishes for a new baby. No two look the same. The fabrics and colors vary. The hands that make it may be experienced or novice. Yet, a thread weaves in and out and holds it tight.

In honor of National Adoption Month this November, we share stories of local families lovingly stitched together, much like the Bai Jia Bei. Each family featured here has a unique story, with different patterns, shapes and sizes. Yet, a golden thread, one of longing and love, runs through each of their stories. That thread is adoption.

The Pullings

Two little girls, dark hair flying in the breeze, played happily in the backyard of Jim and Brooke Pulling’s house. They were so vivid, that when Brooke woke from her dream, she immediately told her husband. Before Brooke told Jim any more, he began to describe the girls. The couple, teachers who had been unable to have children, began to pray about the girls in the dream.

“I asked the Lord, ‘Are you calling us to adopt?’” Brooke said. The Pullings felt the answer was a definite “yes.”

After hearing about Bethany Christian Services on the radio, the Pullings called the adoption agency, which is based in Michigan but has offices in Virginia.

“It’s actually a very loving, exciting experience,” Brooke said of the journey they began in 2004. Within a couple of years, the Pullings had adopted their daughters, Gracie and Faith, who are 13 months apart in age.

Still, the Pullings felt their family was not yet complete.

“The Lord started sending all kinds of confirmation to us,” said Brooke, who herself was adopted by her stepfather when she was just 2 years old.

Now, they also have James III, who is 9 months old.

“Ours is a story of prayer and how the Lord provides and how we went from being infertile to having three children,” Brooke said.

The Johnsons

Joel and Joy Johnson of Forest had just begun to consider how to move forward after fertility treatments failed, when a friend’s parents told them about a home in Nevada for women in unplanned pregnancies. The Johnsons were open to the idea — Joy’s brother had been adopted and Joel’s older sister had adopted a child.

“E-mails flew,” said Joy. “Within a couple of days, we had spoken to our son’s birth mother.”

They flew for the first time to meet her in November, and their son, Jett, was born in April. In between, they introduced their son’s birth mother to both Joel and Joy’s families. When they flew back for their baby’s birth, they had to stay together in the Nevada home for 12 days before they could legally return to Virginia with Jett.

Despite beautiful facilities, the extended stay was difficult. There were days that the birth mother had second thoughts about the adoption. Finally, they came home with Jett.

As they contemplated a second adoption, Joy talked with a new agency by phone about signing paperwork, but felt a hesitation.

“I felt like God was telling me to wait,” Joy said. She told the agency she would call back.

Within hours, the Johnson’s social worker from Jett’s adoption called and said she knew of a baby girl who needed a home. The baby—their daughter Josie—was due in six weeks, but was born in four.

“It’s been a true blessing. It’s funny how they even look alike,” Joy said. “It’s been an immediate bond with the kids and with Joel and I and the kids. As soon as we saw them, we felt like they were ours.”

The Woofs

Jennifer and Steve Woof of Lynchburg were first exposed to adoption from China as they attended a Steven Curtis Chapman concert in 2002. After the contemporary Christian singer shared about his and his wife’s adoption experience, the Woofs began to debate whether they should pursue adoption.

“God has given us very positive experiences and connections with those who have grown their families through adoption,” Jennifer said. “We made the decision early on in our marriage that we would adopt if there were any ‘issues’ with having biological children together.”

When the Woofs learned they would have trouble having a biological child, they felt God had made the decision for them and had a “peace that passes all understanding” in pursing adoption. Yet, the young couple faced more than $20,000 in expenses in moving forward with their adoption.

“We committed ourselves from the very beginning to complete Lily’s adoption without going into debt. At every step of our adoption journey, we have had the money necessary to pay all expenses—adoption or otherwise,” Jennifer said. “God’s timing is indeed perfect. We never had the money ahead of time, nor did the money appear late.”

The Woofs would later receive a grant from the adoption foundation created by Steven Curtis Chapman, and even met him after a concert.

In 2007, the Woofs traveled to China to receive their daughter, Lily, who was almost a year old at the time. They said they loved every minute of the trip.

“It was an absolute privilege to spend time in Lily’s birth country learning more about her ancestors and China’s history,” Jennifer said.

Since then, the Woofs have also added a biological daughter to their family. Graceanne Woof was born in February 2010.

The Heatons

John and Heidi Heaton adopted four children in just five and a half years. Phoebe, 13; Chloe, 11; John-Marc, 9; and Thaddaeus, 8; all came to the Heaton family as infants through domestic adoption. The Heatons said they wanted a large family from the start, but when infertility derailed their plans, they reconsidered.

“We both had aspirations in terms of career and education. We could have lived a life in academia. … Ultimately, we decided, ‘No, we wanted to have a family,’” said Heidi.

With that commitment, the Heatons began to live on John’s salary and bank everything that Heidi made as a nurse. That adoption fund carried them through all four adoptions.

“I think we had a great experience,” John said. “We ran out of money before we ran out of desire to adopt.”

Though they quickly adopted their children, the Heatons honestly assess the challenges inherent in adoption.

“There’s a lot of uncertainty,” John said. “You have to resign yourself to it … when you adopt a child, you have no control.”

Heidi added, “We lived with social workers asking us all sort of questions. It was like a full-time job. … Once you decide to do it, just do the next thing. No one will do it for you. Keep pushing through.”

The Heatons say for them, adoption has both personal and religious significance.

“It’s a theological term that applies to our heavenly father adopting us. It’s a beautiful picture,” said Heidi.

Despite having “no common genetic material in the house,” Heidi said that through adoption, “This has just filled our home with joy and love and laughter.”

Berk and Patti

Berk and Patti* certainly know about the challenges within the adoption process. After months of infertility treatment and five years of pursing adoption, the Lynchburg couple finally adopted their daughter, who is now almost 2.

“Infertility treatments … rob you of your emotions,” Patti said. “It just wrecks you emotionally. We did everything but in vitro. I know it’s worked for other people, but for me if we were going to spend money on it, we would spend the money on adoption.”

The couple began pursing adoption with an agency that specialized in foster care to adoption. But after three years, “nothing had worked out.”

In March 2007, the couple went to Family Life Services, part of the Godparent Foundation. They went through training and waited about 15 months before they adopted their daughter in 2009.

“It is probably the hardest thing anyone can go through. And for us, being so long, it was just extremely hard,” said Patti.

Patti said she found strength through an adoptive moms group and their sponsor family—a past adoptive couple—through Family Life Services.

“If I had not had them, and had them praying for us, and our church and family, we could not have made it through,” she said. “You question when you wait for so long. So many times we doubted whether it was meant to be … but our sponsor family told me that I wouldn’t be there if we weren’t supposed to adopt. That was the phrase I held on to and kept. That kept me going.”

Though the wait was difficult, Patti says she now sees more clearly the importance of timing. At any other time, the baby they adopted would not have been their daughter.

“She is absolutely perfect for our family. … You can’t describe the love you have when they place that baby in your arms. It’s overwhelming,” she said. “We knew we would love the baby, but the depths of it, we just had no idea.”

*Because Berk and Patti’s daughter’s birth mother preferred a closed adoption, their last name is not included in this story.

Want to know more?

If you are seeking to learn more about adoption, these three local agencies provide a good place to start:

• Family Life Services (FLS), part of the Godparent Foundation, which also runs the Liberty Godparent Home, was established and licensed as a private child-placing agency in 1983. FLS works with birth parents across the state of Virginia in addition to residents of the Liberty Godparent Home. Specializing in domestic infant adoption, each year, FLS completes an average of 10 domestic infant adoptions and provides adoption services to families seeking international adoption placements. Deanne Hamlette, FLS adoption coordinator, said her agency promotes adoption in the community, regardless of whether families adopt through FLS.

• Bethany Christian Services is the nation’s largest adoption agency, and has five offices in Virginia. Bethany serves children from conception—including embryo adoption—to teens, facilitating domestic and international adoptions.

The Bethany Christian Services office in Charlottesville primarily handles domestic infant adoption, though their offices can also work with international adoptions. They offer free birthparent counseling, even years after the completion of the adoption.

Caroline Ingram of Bethany said families become interested in adoption for many reasons.

“I’ve seen a lot of different perspectives,” she said. “Many families are dealing with infertility. Many want to expand their family, but they also see it as God sending them a gift.”

For more information, call (434) 979-9631.

• DePaul Community Resources traces its roots to the former St. Vincent’s Home in Roanoke. Though those ties have since dissolved, the name—from St. Vincent DePaul who lived in the 17th century helping the poor and caring for children—remains.

In 1987, DePaul opened its Lynchburg office. Children available for adoptive placement are primarily older. They may have some “special needs” or have brothers or sisters who need to be placed with them in an adoptive family.

There is no cost for adoption services at DePaul Community Resources because all of the children DePaul works with are in the custody of a Virginia Department of Social Services, according to their Web site. For more information call (434) 528-0184.